Interview With a Poker Player's Spouse - Part II

This is the second in a two-part series of columns in which I interviewed my wife, Andra, about being a poker spouse. Enjoy!

TK: What has been the most interesting poker-related experience you've had?



AK: I think the most interesting experience was when you took me to the World Series of Poker for the first time. I never even knew there was such a thing, and it was a little overwhelming. The tournament room was a small space that was jampacked with poker players. I could hardly move around, and it wasn't the best-smelling room in Vegas. I could tell that some of the players had been there for days without leaving the tables. We had a room at the Horseshoe, and sadly, it was one of the rooms with a window facing the back of the Fremont Street Experience. I got to share in the "experience" every night – every hour on the hour – the entire time we were there. All in all, it was a very fun and interesting experience.



TK: Have you ever been worried about our finances as a result of my career choice?



AK: I have never worried that we would be on the street homeless, but there have been times when I definitely have worried about our finances. It's not as if you have a salary or receive a monthly paycheck, so there is always going to be that worry. I think that any smart poker player should have other investments, so that if there is a time when he runs bad, he won't go broke.



TK: What do you like the most about poker?



AK: I like the freedom that it gives us. I like the fact that we don't have to wait for time off work to take a vacation. The tournaments that are in exotic places like Aruba are very nice – and Monte Carlo is extremely beautiful.



TK: What do you like the least?



AK: That there are new tournaments popping up all over the place. It is almost impossible to have any sort of a schedule, and if we do plan a vacation, it's difficult knowing that you are going to miss out on a tournament in which you possibly could do well. That is very difficult for me.



TK: How do my big win/loss swings in poker affect you?



AK: When you go through big swings, I go through them, as well. I think that what you don't realize is that losing or winning is just as emotional for me as it is for you. When you are losing, your mood becomes pretty miserable. You slam the mouse, scream in frustation, and generally are not pleasant to be around. It's difficult because I want to comfort you and be there for you, but nothing I do really helps. Sometimes it feels like I am just making things worse. Your swings really do affect me. I think they affect most wives or girlfriends of poker players. What is difficult for me to realize is that you are just upset with poker, not with me. When you're upset, I take it personally, and I have learned recently to just leave you alone when you are losing.



TK: What can I do to make things better for you?



AK: See, that's the thing. It's not about me, and that is what I have realized. I think that wives and girlfriends who go through what I do in a poker relationship really get too involved. The truth is, it's not about us. When you are losing and in a bad mood, it's not about me. You need to go through the emotions of losing, and I don't want to make you feel bad about doing that. On another note, if it has been more than a few days and you are still in a bad mood, I need some positive attention. I need some positive, quality time with you. In no way do I want to talk about your poker hands. I don't want to know the bad beat you took two hours ago. I don't really understand, and I am not going to give you the response you're probably seeking.



TK: What advice would you have for other wives or girlfriends of poker players?



AK: I guess my advice would be to have something that they do just for themselves and really enjoy. It's really easy to get wrapped up in the poker world, but if they don't have something that they do just for themselves, things can get very difficult. They should know that there are gonna be times when their husband or boyfriend will be getting up just as they are going to bed, and going to bed just as they are getting up. There is no such thing as a schedule with a poker player. Trust me, asking to have some sort of a schedule is just more of a hassle and only causes grief. Planning holidays and vacations can be tricky. They should know that there is a lot of pressure on their significant other to do well, and he just needs their unconditional support.



TK: What advice do you have for poker players?



AK: They should know that it takes a very extraordinary kind of woman to put up with a poker player. We need attention, and we need to know that we come first before poker. When I say attention, I don't mean presents. Although material things are nice to have and you can afford to buy them, quality time is what we really want. Be good to your wife or girlfriend, and just know how difficult being a poker player's signifcant other can be, sometimes.

Thomas "Thunder" Keller is a 24-year-old professional poker player and one of poker's young and rising stars. He can often be found playing at UltimateBet.com under the name thunderkeller. To learn more about him, go to his website at thunderkeller.com. Feel free to contact him at [email protected]. Also, feel free to contact his wife concerning anything in this interview at [email protected].