Keeping Opponents Happy

One of my poker idols, Women in Poker Hall of Fame member Linda Johnson, has a saying: “When I sit down at a poker table, I have three objectives. I want to win money, I want to enjoy myself, and I want my opponents to enjoy themselves.” I agree with this completely, and would like to explore it further.

For most, the first objective seems like an obvious choice, the second seems reasonable, and the third seems to be a more or less irrelevant reach. Yes, thousands of columns have been devoted to the premise that you should not yell at opponents, or insult them or abuse them. But that just equates to keeping them from either leaving or starting to play better.

But why should we care if they actually enjoy themselves? I recently got an e-mail from a friend that said, in part, “Poker is a game of competition, not cooperation.” Yes, many people see it that way, and certainly for some, it is primarily about making a profit.

Poker is indeed a game of competition, but it is also a game of cooperation. Specifically, people have to voluntarily cooperate by agreeing to sit down and play at a time and a place that suits everyone. If no one wants to play with you, you cannot compete or win.

The easy solution: By far the easiest way to keep your opponents happy is to give them your money. This, of course, violates the first objective (I want to win money), but it does work. Although rare, there are times that you may want to give up some money or expectation to make your opponents happy. Here are two examples:

Example No. 1: You show up for a no-limit hold’em freeroll event at your local casino. This is a weekly promotion for players who have put in 30 hours of play in the past week. The prize pool this week, based on participation, is $3,000. Twenty-five players show up, having qualified for the event. Before the event starts, 24 of them suggest that everyone just chop the money, $120 per person. The casino endorses this, as it does not wish to run a promotional tournament. You look around and decide that you are a favorite, and have a positive expected value (+EV) against these guys, who, like you, play mostly $4-$8 limit hold’em. You have more no-limit experience, and even though no one gets many chips and the blinds structure is fast, you figure to be a favorite. You object to the split, and everyone reluctantly sits down to play.

Clearly, you did nothing wrong. The casino advertised a tournament, and you are insisting that it have one. After all, if you are a favorite, why not?

Here’s why not. First, you may have just as much +EV if you chopped and everyone sat down in a cash game. But even more, the other 24 players would be happy instead of frustrated. They will be more likely to participate in this promotion again (and tell their friends about the cool free money), and the casino will be more likely to keep offering it. If they go elsewhere for a different promotion, or just because they don’t want to play with you, the prize pool will slowly disappear, and you will get nothing.

Example No. 2: In a $10-$20 limit hold’em game, you bet $20 on the river into a $160 pot. You have two opponents, and the second one quickly folds out of turn. The dealer, whose thoughts have been elsewhere, thinks the hand is over, scoops up the cards from both opponents, and pushes you the pot. After the player who had not acted protests, the floorman rules that since you bet and no one else has cards, the pot is yours. He did not protect his hand, and so on. You show two small pair. The other guy says he had two bigger pair.

What should you do? Of course, you can do nothing, but depending on the circumstances and the player, I would typically either give him his last call back or split the pot. Maybe you deserved the pot, and maybe not, but it costs only a little to leave the other guy feeling happy instead of angry.

Why do they play? As I said, those situations are very rare. Generally, you are not in any position to part with money, or even EV. You play to win. So, how can you keep people happy?

Think about why they are there. Sure, they want to win, but most players lose and still show up. They come for the social aspects of the game. There is a reason why cardrooms advertise “friendly dealers” instead of “fast, competent dealers.” Players figure that even if their opponents are unfriendly, at least there will be one friendly person at the table.

So, be another friendly face at the table. Talk to people. Have some jokes available (I have a very nice set of jokes that moderately drunk players seem to really enjoy). Chat about sports, entertainment, finance, or sex. Those topics are interesting to a majority of players. Do not talk about politics, religion, or poker strategy.

Making small talk instead of sitting with your sunglasses and earphones on makes your opponents’ experience of losing money (which you hope they will do) far more enjoyable. Refusing to talk, reading a book until you get a premium hand, and other entirely legal activities do nothing for the table ambiance. Maybe people will still come and play, or maybe they will look elsewhere for a “friendlier” game. I know that many players who visit Las Vegas complain of the unsociable table environment compared to what they are used to back home.

Even worse than not speaking is being a table lawyer. This player watches all of the action and screams at every real or perceived infraction. A player raises, but puts in 15 chips instead of 16, and goes back and tosses in the last one. “String bet,” hollers the lawyer, making sure that everyone feels as uncomfortable as possible. Even though he is not abusing the player or yelling, he is making the mood unpleasant, and that hurts the overall game.

Conclusion: You do not have to be Bob Hope or Steve Martin at the table. Simply acting like a normal, civil human being is often enough. Ask your neighbor, “Where are you from?” If asked, don’t pretend to fiddle with the volume control for your earphones, or act annoyed. If you don’t like talking about where you are from, invent another place to be from. You are not under oath at the table, but responding is simply an act of common decency.

Win money, have fun, and help others enjoy the game. Linda Johnson’s formula can work for you, as well.

Barry Tanenbaum is the author of Advanced Limit Hold’em Strategy, and collaborator on Limit Hold’em: Winning Short-Handed Strategies, both available at www.CardPlayer.com. Barry offers private lessons tailored to the individual student. Please see his website, www.barrytanenbaum.com, or write to him at [email protected].