The Rules Guy: How To Conduct Yourself at the Poker Table

Most players learn poker’s explicit rules pretty quickly: the “one-chip rule,” for example, or “verbal declarations are binding.” But not everyone seems to have digested the game’s vast book of unwritten rules, admonitions like “don’t berate other players (particularly bad ones)” or “say ‘nice hand’ even when you mean something entirely different.”

Enter “The Rules Guy.” TRG believes that civility and sportsmanship are never wrong, and that bad behavior (even when you’re simply trying to get an edge) is bad for the game. Have you got a question about how to conduct yourself at the poker table? Email TRG at [email protected].

A Rationale for Behaving Decently

Dear The Rules Guy:

What, exactly, is wrong with talking trash, misleading your opponents, riling them up and putting them on tilt? Shouldn’t we do whatever it takes to try to gain an edge? We’re playing poker — not golf, and certainly not attending a tea party, right? My motto is “win by any means necessary” — convince me I’m wrong!

— In Your Face in Innisfree

Dear In Your Face:

Congratulations! You have perfectly captured the mission of this column, and its challenge. You believe that you should be able to use whatever tools are available to help you win — that acting bad can yield positive expected value (EV). The Rules Guy believes that poker players should act civilized, both by following the explicit rules of the game and the implicit rules of behaving at the table — even if it’s minus EV.

Let’s see if we can reason this out in a gentlemanly way.

First principle: TRG thinks (and hopes) that you believe outright cheating is fundamentally and unambiguously wrong. You wouldn’t break the hard-and-fast rules of the game (right? Please say, “yeah, right!”).

The obvious reason is that you don’t want to be the victim of cheating. The less obvious reason is that cheating hurts the game from a macro perspective, just as cheating damages every sphere it touches: Cheating on Wall Street or in any other sector erodes public trust; cheating in college and professional sports disgusts fans. Clearly, a widespread belief that poker was a game rife with cheats would deter beginners from trying it out and fans from watching it on TV. And this isn’t simply a question of viewers and sponsorship; unlike fans of many sports, fans of poker are often participants. All poker players should fervently want more fans and more players. A bigger pool means more room for fish (a word TRG does not like and the subject of a future column).

Your question wasn’t about cheating, of course. But if outright cheating is beyond the pale, which it is, then the idea of “by any means necessary” cannot withstand scrutiny as any kind of an absolute. The question then becomes “What behavior is acceptable and makes the game better for everyone?”

Where do you draw the line?

This is what TRG is trying to do: draw the line. Promote behavior that is acceptable (or better) and censure that which is not. TRG believes that civility and decency are good goals for everyone to pursue, regardless of the setting or endeavor.

We can all agree that the bare minimum degree of civility is to abide by the rules (and yes, there probably should be a more standard and agreed upon set of rules for poker, but this problem can and will be solved as the game develops). But also TRG believes strongly that players should strive to go well beyond this minimum threshold, which is not that hard to do: Don’t shoot angles. Don’t berate. Don’t whine. Don’t trash the dealer.

TRG believes (though cannot prove) that being civil and decent doesn’t cost much, if anything, in terms of EV. TRG also believes that in the long run, being civil and decent will make the poker world much bigger and, therefore, much more potentially lucrative. Win/win.

But far more important than the EV cost or benefit of decent behavior is the sense of self-worth that decency gives you back. Poker is a “capitalistic” game in the sense that it’s driven by self-interest, not the welfare of the other players — but at the end of the day, how you play reflects the kind of person you are and the kind of person you want to be. You should play with decency and respect because it’s the right thing to do — end of story.

In a recent op-ed contribution in the New York Times, the great David Brooks quoted the 18th century political philosopher Edmund Burke on the subject of behavior: “Manners are of more importance than laws,” Burke wrote. “Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize or refine us, by a constant, steady, uniform, insensible operation, like that of the air we breathe in.”

Dealing With Dealers

Dear The Rules Guy:

I get the idea of not talking about hands or influencing the action, but what do you do if the dealer makes a mistake? Should you speak up?

— Perplexed in Perth

Dear Perplexed:

TRG likes dealers. TRG thinks dealers are, for the most part, hard-working and underpaid, especially given the level of abuse, and the number of cards, hurled their way. TRG has a lot of sympathy for dealers (and zero sympathy for those who abuse them).

Because dealers are human. And humans make mistakes. And if you see a mistake, you have the duty to correct it. How you do so depends on the circumstances.

Example 1: The river is dealt, the hands are shown down, and you folded ages ago. One player has two pair, the other has bottom pair — and a straight he didn’t see and the dealer doesn’t notice. The dealer is pushing the pot to the two-pair hand, and you say, “Wait a second, he has a straight.” The dealer pushes the pot to the winning hand.

Easy, right? Unless the non-winning hand thinks you shouldn’t be commenting on a hand in which you weren’t involved (insert menacing glare or ungrateful comment here). But remember one of the prime rules of poker: Cards speak. The cards turned up are what they are; they are speaking, the dealer just didn’t hear them. You have simply articulated what the cards have already said. The dealer made a mistake. You fixed it before the mistake was permanent. You were involved because this is your table and you have a right to ensure the game goes as it is supposed to. You might get the glare (or worse), but you acted in the interest of the game.

Example 2: There’s a bet up front, and you reraise all-in without specifying an amount. The dealer counts the stack and announces “it’s just $2,000 more,” implying “Of course you call; it’s just $2,000 more.” The dealer made two mistakes: He should not count the raise unless explicitly asked to do so. And he should not editorialize at all. (Note to players: No one should comment on the amount, even if there is no doubt that the original bettor should call. Give the raiser the benefit of whatever fold equity he might have.)

But here you have no immediate recourse, and nothing you or anyone else at the table, can say will undo this mistake. In fact, raising a fuss about it then and there could reinforce the weakness of your bet. If you’re on friendly terms with the dealer, say later that it was bad form of him to say anything. Or speak to the floor on your way out of the tournament area. ♠

Comments? Questions? Behavioral issues? Email TRG at [email protected].