Some of the Things I Should Have Learned by Now!

I have just returned from a major poker event, where I spent some time with the tournament director to hear some of the dirt as well as some of the interesting things that happened during the event. I like to hear about some of the great plays, the bad beats, and the juicy stuff that occurred. I asked him if there had been any interesting penalties or "timeouts" accessed. For those of you who don't know, time away from the table can be imposed when a player breaks a rule or behaves in a manner that is undesirable. Anyway, I learned of two situations that I thought were worthy of mentioning.

The subject of codes of conduct has been written about substantially, but apparently some players still don't realize what is acceptable and what is not. What may be "trash talking" in a home game they play in is totally inappropriate behavior in a public cardroom. Most of us would think that what I am about to tell you should have been obvious, but it wasn't to the guy who broke the rule. After hearing how it came down, I am betting (not that I would do that) he won't do it again. Here is what happened: On the river of an action-packed hand, a guy sucked out and then needled the losing player a little bit. The guy across the table who had lost the hand shot back with an expletive. I can't really tell you what he said, but if you think of the old Odd Couple television show and Felix Unger's initials, you might get an idea. It turns out that he was within earshot of the tournament director (TD) at the time. Bad move on his part. The TD tapped him on the shoulder and asked him to step away from the table, while asking the dealer to continue dealing and to deal the player in but kill his hand each time.

The guy had a quizzical look on his face. Why was the TD taking him away from the game? The TD explained to him the language he used was unacceptable in the cardroom and he was getting a 20-minute penalty away from the table. The guy still didn't really "get it" until it literally had to be explained to him. He was used to playing in his regular home game, and the guy who had put the bad beat on him was a buddy, and he hadn't "meant any harm" in his comment. He was joking with his buddy. The funny thing about that joke is that I'll bet he doesn't repeat it in a public cardroom again.

I certainly think that type of language has no place in a cardroom. I oftentimes have heard someone mutter an expletive under his breath to himself, but I do not believe that is what timeouts are for. However, in this instance, with the comment directed at another person, it definitely was warranted. Anytime something so disrespectful is aimed at another person – player, dealer, floorperson, or anyone else – it deserves time away from the table while the player's chips are anted or blinded away.

The other timeout penalty I want to tell you about also occurred innocently enough (if, in the preceding situation, you call using the F word innocent). During this same tourney, after the flop it got to heads up. Well, again it turns out that the two players involved were buddies, and new to the public tournament scene. On the turn, the first player said to the other, "Hey, let's check it out." The other player agreed, and the table went ballistic! And rightfully so, I might add. By the time the TD got to the table, the hand was over, and there was no way to make the players bet against each other. However, they too were escorted from the green felt and educated as to the error of their ways. In a tournament, it is collusion to soft-play against someone at the table. It affects everyone in the tournament and is not to be allowed or tolerated. It is totally unfair and unethical to play hard against one foe and easy against another, and it can affect the outcome of the entire event. Of course, the two players who had done this hadn't meant any harm and didn't realize the severity of their error. Add these two to the list of players who won't repeat a mistake.

Timeouts during a tournament can be very costly, as well as embarrassing. It is important to know the tournament rules before you play, just as you would want to know general cardroom rules. Most events have the Tournament Directors Association (TDA) rules posted. You also can get a copy of them by e-mailing me at [email protected] . When you get time away from the table, in addition to being the topic of all the buzz at the other tables, your chips are anted and blinded away. This has caused more than one competitor to go broke. Don't let this happen to you. Act respectfully and with integrity at all times. Check-raise your mom, and then buy her dinner. Class dismissed.

Meet me at the Oasis Open in Mesquite , Nevada , May 21-25. An early-bird tournament will be held on May 20, so make the one-hour drive north from Las Vegas and come see me!