Nice Guys Finish First

This is a two-part column. The first part is about a guy with a lot of character and personality. I first met Jay Botchman in the late '80s at the Mirage in Las Vegas, where he played poker a lot. He came in from New York and I liked his style. He was in his 60s and had a long ponytail. That was a pretty classic style that I admired at the time, and still do. He still has that long ponytail. I don't know why he wears his hair that way, for good luck or the style, but I like it. Jay retired and sold his company for many millions of dollars before he moved to Las Vegas. I remember when I first played with him in the early '90s that he was staking four or five players at the Mirage. Jay liked only one game at that time, which was stud, and he staked all of the great stud players who were in Vegas. So, the game often was made up of five players he was staking, two live players, and himself. Although he may have made money staking others, I don't think he did it for the money; he just liked helping others. He was very loyal to his friends, very classy, and a great tipper, to boot. I have talked to many, many players, and they all say, "Jay is the best." He just has a good heart and is always helping people. In that respect, he reminds me of Seymour Liebowitz, but if it's possible, he may have a bigger heart than Seymour. Now, he loves to play blackjack. He goes to play blackjack and beats it for tens of thousands of dollars and comes back and puts people in action. Sometimes he wins and sometimes he loses, but the point is that he loves putting people in action and helping them.

A friend of mine named Charley, who was an executive at the Mirage, once told me a story. He said Jay handed him a check one day and asked him to do him a favor and deposit it at the bank. The check was for $80 million. Of course, Charley did it, but he was very impressed that Jay would trust someone to deposit a check that large. This is a good example of how trusting Jay is. I remember last year when Jay invited many top poker players to his house to help him celebrate his birthday. The party was great! There was valet parking, catered food, and lots of dancing, music, and fun. The Lakers were playing the Blazers in the playoffs, and all the rooms were full of people laughing and having a good time watching the playoffs while lounging on various sofas and beds around Jay's house. He was such a great host that everyone felt completely comfortable making themselves at home there. At one point, the Lakers were down by about 15 points in the fourth quarter with six minutes to go, and they came back to beat Portland by five. It was very exciting, and everyone had a great time watching it together. Shirley, Jay's girlfriend, even hired a Marilyn Monroe impersonator to sing happy birthday to him in a very sexy way, and everyone loved it. The point is that that party speaks for what a great guy Jay is. All of the top players, who normally are trying to best each other at the tables, were sitting around laughing and enjoying each other's company courtesy of Jay. It's very hard to get lots of great players together in one spot for any reason, but because of their respect for Jay, they made the time to be there and celebrate his birthday. And let me tell you another thing: It wasn't just poker players who were there. Lots of Jay's other friends were there as well. It was the darnedest thing I've ever seen. I mean, I saw Jay's ex-wives, former girlfriends, and current girlfriend all together in the same room laughing and having a great time. Jay is the type of guy who can make that sort of thing happen, due to his wonderful personality and good character. What an amazing party!

On a completely different note, it has been suggested that I say a few things about how to handle losing streaks, and that's the second part of this column. If a good player is running bad, he should take a nice vacation – go somewhere and have peace of mind. I know that if someone is running bad, he doesn't sleep well and may wonder, "How am I going to pay my bills next month?" and other things like that. I think players ought to help relieve stress by working out and doing things like jogging, swimming, or shooting baskets. It's important to keep your mind off the game for a while so that when you get back to the game, you are in the right frame of mind. Also, if you are running bad, instead of trying to play higher, play lower. Money management is very important when you are having a bad run of cards, because when you are running bad, you could blow your whole bankroll in no time. Another thing is that you never want to go completely broke and, without question, get into debt. I've seen some players who end up owing so many people money that they can't even go in to play for fear of seeing someone they owe. So, my advice to someone who is running bad is, "Just slow down, take a break, go on vacation, work out a lot, and learn how to manage your money." When you step down in limits, you'll feel better because your bankroll will seem much bigger and the players will be much weaker. You will build up your confidence again by playing a smaller game in which you will win much more often. Once you start to run good in the smaller games, you can always go back to the bigger games with renewed confidence. Also realize that the very high limits are not for everybody. Some people are not comfortable playing very high limits and others are. When I first came to Las Vegas, all I wanted to do was play $10-$20 hold'em, but my bankroll didn't allow me to do it because I didn't have enough money, so I had to start with $1-$3 stud. And that was good for me, because it was like going to school. Eventually, I worked my way up to the highest games around, but it took a lot of time and hard work. Nowadays, I play my best poker when I am playing the very high limits. The challenge of the high limits and great players brings out the very best in my play. Everyone has to know himself.