Always Call a Used Camel Dealer

Several years ago while playing live-action poker at a hotel in Giza, Egypt (about a mile from the pyramids), I was sitting next to an Englishman who chatted incessantly. Across the table from us there was a scruffy-looking bearded young man who said he was a camel dealer. My English neighbor showed his knowledge of American humor when he whispered to me, "Would you buy a used camel from that man?" (During the Watergate era, there was a poster with President Nixon's picture going around that read, "Would you buy a used car from this man?")

Shortly thereafter, my English neighbor called a rather large bet by the camel dealer and caught him bluffing. This time he whispered in my ear, "See, always call a used camel dealer!"

In January, while attending a large bridge tournament in Tunica, Mississippi, I found a wonderful pot-limit Omaha (high) game at the Horseshoe. Across the table from me there was a man whom I overheard mentioning that he was a used tractor salesman, and a very aggressive player was he.

In our first encounter, I made it $50 to go before the flop while holding the A J K 9. The flop came A-9-8 offsuit. In three-way action, I bet the pot, $160, hoping to take it.

One player folded, but the used tractor dealer abruptly pushed in a large stack, saying that he was raising me $500! The dealer advised him that the pot limit was $480; he probably had noticed that I had only about $300 in front of me.

Although I normally would fold to that raise if it were made by certain solid players who would probably have a set, my thoughts somehow drifted back to the "used camel dealer." Earlier, I had seen my opponent raise the pot on a flush draw, and I suspected that this time he might have a straight draw by using the 9-8. So, I chose to go all in with my remaining $320.

He had aces and eights, which, after two more unexciting cards, succumbed to my aces and nines. Although that hand cost him about half his stack, two hands later he replenished his chips and his broad smile returned as he turned over pocket sixes with two sixes on the board to win a large pot, in which I was not involved.

A while later, on the button, I called into four-way $50-to-go action with a 5-6-7-8 "junior wrap." The flop came K-9-5 offsuit, which gave me nine cards for a nut straight. It was checked around to me.

So, I had many nice options. I could try to take the pot by betting the pot, I could accept a free card, or I could "pad" the pot with a small bet (essentially raising the stakes in case I hit my straight on the turn). I decided to pad and casually tossed in three quarter chips ($75). Other good possibilities were that they all might fold, or check around to me on the turn. It seemed like a good move at the time, but it wasn't!

After the first opponent folded, the used tractor dealer raised the pot, now at $350. I didn't want to fold, but I had to. Not only were my percentages of hitting inadequate, if I called and missed, he probably would make another big bet, which would put me all in, leaving me without anything to bet if I hit on the river. So, I folded – yet another annoyance in a long series of annoyances.

About 20 minutes later, I was in the small blind with pocket tens and pocket eights. Although I am deathly afraid of this sort of hand, I crawled in cheaply with four other nonraisers, including the tractor dealer. The flop came Q 9 2. I happened to have the 10 and 8 – a straight-flush draw. It was checked around to me.

I thought about betting. Was I intimidated by the previous annoying occurrence? Maybe. But the problem with this hand is that except for the J, every other "good" card that I have gives me a second-best hand. As I said before, I fear these hands – so I also checked.

The free card was pretty close – the J (I wanted the J). I now had the second-nut straight, but was that good enough?

A fairly good player on my left led with a $100 bet. Two players folded, but the used camel dealer (yes, I know, he was really a tractor dealer – but in my mind, I had merged them) made it $300 to go! He was really annoying me now.

I usually am not a fish. Normally, I would slide this one into the muck quickly. In pot-limit, you must learn to muck most second-nut hands when confronted. But, I started thinking. Was I actually thinking of calling? Was I losing it? Not just one, but two opponents might have the nut K-10.

However, I knew enough about the cagey opponent on my left to know that he probably would have bet less than $100 if he had the nuts. That left the used camel (tractor – as explained above) dealer. Somehow I just knew that he did not have the nuts. When he held the four sixes, he was quiet as a mouse until the last round. Yet, did I really want to get involved big-time with the second-nut straight? Yeah, I did. If he really had the nut straight, maybe I would make a flush. Always call a used camel dealer?

So, I fished in. The other player folded. At least I was right about him. The last card was a brick. The camel (tractor) dealer bet $500, as I knew he would. I didn't like it, but I went with my original judgment that he didn't have it. And, he didn't! I won. He had Q-J-J-10. But note that if the board had paired, he would have won. So, the real rule should be, as we all suspected, "Always call a used camel dealer – sometimes."