Luck Be a Lady … All Right!

When I was very young and going to the Catskills for the summers, one of my favorite things other than softball, swimming, camp, and Monticello Raceway was looking forward to those great weekends when my father came up and I got to sit behind him in the big poker game. Of course, poker wasn't legal in New York in those days; in fact, it wasn't legal when I was of age, but we played anyway. All the guys would circle the table looking for their usual seats, and it would turn into one of those great men get-togethers – you know, no women allowed. Of course, there was the usual wife walk-through: "Hi, honey, how ya doin'?" I kept thinking to myself that only men played the game. With all the off-color remarks and the bold play, a woman would become intimidated. Besides, in those days, the men were the breadwinners in the house.

Well, eventually the weekend concluded and those breadwinners went back to the city to earn that bread, and the women were left in the Catskills to enjoy the summer.

One Tuesday afternoon I got sick at camp and they had to find my mother. They found her playing poker with all the other mothers! When I got there, I was astonished to see that all the women who were playing were the wives of the poker players who were now in the city.

"Hey, Mom, did you win?" I couldn't believe I was asking that question. We sat down and had a chat. My mother explained to me that she had been playing for many years, and that she was in fact a winning player. She loved the game. She told me that she and my father talked poker strategy all the time. She also told me that she frequented a game in the city all year long, and that playing poker wasn't just a "summer thing." I asked her why she never played with the men on the weekend, and she told me that it wasn't accepted for women to be playing in the same game with the men. However, she secretly believed that a few of the women in her game could easily beat some of the men in my dad's game. While the women played for lower stakes than the men, the games were the same.

So, knowing where and when the game was being played, I found my way in there more than a few times. The characteristics of the game were very similar to the men's game, including some of the colorful language, aggressive betting, long studying, and ruthless check-raising. All in all, it was a poker game, and a good, juicy one, at that. If it wasn't for some of the colorful language, I probably wouldn't have gotten thrown out as much as I did.

Moving ahead 20 years or so, I found myself in Las Vegas with nothing to do one night, so I walked into the Gold Coast and found the poker room. There, lo and behold, was a ladies-only tournament! "Ladies only," I said. "Hey, that's not fair." Oh, how soon we forget the teachings of our youth.

I got into a heated discussion on this topic with a woman who plays poker. She explained to me why ladies-only tournaments exist, and after her very convincing argument and a little less machismo on my part, I totally agreed. I did, however, write an article about the reasons I thought ladies-only tournaments were wrong; it was the first time I was ever published in Card Player. After that article was published, I got a chorus of boos from the ladies every time I walked into the Gold Coast poker room. It was all in good fun, and we had a good time with it.

Ladies-only tournaments exist for very specific reasons, all of which are good. Many of my columns deal with the intimidation factor that some players experience when moving from a home game to playing in a casino, and as it was explained to me, there is nothing more intimidating than being a new woman player and walking into a room full of men to play a tournament. This holds true for live games, as well, so what better way to make ladies feel comfortable than a ladies-only tournament.

While I'm sure these tournaments exist all around the world, there are three prominent ladies-only events that I'm aware of in Southern California, and two of them are run by female tournament directors – Cheri Dokken at Commerce Casino and Star McCormick at Ocean's Eleven Casino. The other is run by a very competent male, Denny Williams at The Bicycle Casino. The level of camaraderie in these tournaments is extremely high. The regulars take the new players in hand and explain the rules and even some strategy. The tournament staff, in turn, knows who the new players are and takes the time to explain what's going on. The tournament staff and most of the players are very tolerant of small procedural errors that are made by the new players, and choose to help rather than hinder. These tournaments are of great value, as well. I think the entry fees are in the $8 range.

As I travel the tournament circuit, I see many more women players than ever before, and many of them are highly skilled and some are great world champions.

Well, Mom, it looks like you were a groundbreaker in your day, and I wish you were still around to tell other ladies who wish to play the game to come and join us.