There Ain't No Mulligans!

So, there I was on the 18th tee, with my friend and fellow Card Player columnist Barry Tanenbaum, having the round of my life. I carefully teed up the ball just so, took several practice swings until I felt smooth, then aligned my stance precisely to the center of the fairway. I took the club back slowly and smoothly, and brought my swing back forward in a fluid motion. I confidently watched the flight of the ball, surveying the glory of my perfect execution. Splash! The water rippled as my ball sat at the bottom of the water hazard on the right side of the fairway.

"#%@&!" I said.

"Take it over," Barry offered kindly, sensing my disappointment with myself. He is a much nicer man than my other golfing buddy, Grant Pittman, who would have just laughed out loud at me in that situation.

I really wanted to take it over, and make a good swing and not mess up my round. It would have been a much better feeling than the one I was experiencing. But that would have tainted the integrity of my score. So, I did the right thing, and dropped at the point of entry to the lake and proceeded to hit another ball. Splash! Another ball sailed into the lake. I went on to quadruple-bogey the hole and marched back to the clubhouse in a cranky mood. I had not handled hitting my first shot into the lake well, and my lack of mental fortitude had caused me to screw up even worse.

We all want to take mulligans, whether it's in golf, poker, or life. No matter how meticulously we prepare, or how much effort goes into our execution, some of our shots just flat go awry, and we'd like to take them over. We can destroy golf rounds with a single swing, we can screw up a poker tournament with one bad play, and we can even destroy our ever-fragile lives with one bad decision. It happens all the time. With most mistakes, you just can't turn back the clock and get a do-over. Conceptually, in life and poker, I think it is important to think about what you are doing before you do it, particularly if lots of "chips" are at risk.

At the poker table, we often make a mistake or take a beat, and let it have a lingering effect on how we play hands in the future. Some players in this spot take a break or quit the game. That can be many players' best answer in ring games. However, doing so results in lost opportunity value in the game. If you are forced to take a break every time you take a beat, the result of leaving good games (in which the likelihood of beats is greater) when you get emotional is that your overall win rate will be negatively affected dramatically. If you are playing a game with a blind structure, you will lose the value of your hands up to the blinds if you leave immediately.

In tournaments, the negative effect of lacking the mental toughness to take beats is disastrous. You can't take breaks at will, and getting up and leaving definitely won't win you the tournament. When playing poker, you need to be able to suck it up, and not let a bad situation affect the play of your next hand.

So, how do you deal with the stress of losing a hand? There are many ways of reducing stress within yourself: exercise, caffeine reduction, proper diet, meditation, yoga, and more – not to mention not putting yourself in stressful situations. However, the best way is to eliminate as much of the mental stress within yourself as you can, and to have the mental toughness to deal with whatever stress you do feel.

You need to condition yourself mentally. But how does one do that? Having the right attitude is a tremendous help. Think in terms of the long run. When players suck out on you, be happy that you are in a game where players are making those calls. Think about how much money you will make in the long run as long as they keep playing that way. And don't get mad and belittle them – you want them to keep on making those calls.

Take pride in being mentally and emotionally tough enough to handle the game. Many bright, knowledgeable players are just not mentally and emotionally stable enough to perform consistently. Those players never survive the test of time.

Assuming you have good strategy knowledge, which is the part of poker that is easy to obtain through the wealth of good material available in books and on the Internet, and can attach positive attitudes to your poker game, you will know that you will beat the game. Knowing that will improve your confidence, help you take beats, and make your game better and more consistent.

There's something about human nature that does not make those thoughts natural ones. We need to change them within ourselves! So, how does someone change his thought process to one that is most favorable for his poker game? I find that by talking to myself when I am emotionally in the wrong state of mind, I can, over time, condition my mind to have thoughts that are best for my performance at the table. The more I can make habitual and act without thinking, the more conscious thought I can apply to other things I should be thinking about at the poker table (and I don't mean the cocktail waitress).

Keeping yourself stable and focused gives you a huge edge over players who don't have that level of mental strength. All other things being equal, he who "tilts" the least has the edge. Add that edge to your game. Get tough. Remain calm and focused, think of the long run, and don't intimidate your opponents when they make bad plays against you (after all, you want them to continue doing so).

Anyway, the following week I went out and played some more golf. I had a pretty good round, and I parred that 18th hole that I'd quadruple-bogeyed the week before. Patience and persistence will serve you much better in life than looking for mulligans.

Roy Cooke played winning professional poker for more than 16 years. He is a successful real estate broker/salesperson in Las Vegas. If you would like to ask Roy poker-related questions, you may do so online at www.UnitedPokerForum.com.