Things That Make You Say, Hmm - Part II

In my last column, I described some things in poker that I have experienced over the years that are not perfect, by any means. Actually, I shared some situations regarding the dark side of poker – which, as you probably know, I don't do very often. (I usually like to highlight the positive rather than reinforce the negative aspects of the game.) So, before I get any second thoughts about writing this column, let's get down to business immediately and discuss some more shocking, funny, weird, and outright horrible situations.

• A pro player has won four big pots in only two hours of play, and is up a lot more money than could normally be expected. In fact, he has played only four hands, and therefore has a 100 percent score so far. He is cheering, smiling and joking, and acting like he's in total control, his big pile of chips being a logical result of only his far superior play. Then, on hand No. 5, he finally faces a little adversity when one of his opponents catches a lucky river card to beat his top pair, top kicker. His good mood is over immediately. In total disgust, he throws his cards toward the dealer, and shouts at his opponent how lucky he was, while cursing his own bad luck. The pro is still the biggest winner in the game, having won four pots out of five … hmm.

• A wannabe pro has entered the casino and is checking out the action. He walks over to our pot-limit game, but has no real intention to actually take a seat: Usually, he plays in our game only when he has lost big in the limit games, in which case he will join us in an attempt to recoup his losses in one lucky shot. One of our regular players asks him if he wants to join the game, as we have two or three open seats. "No," the wannabe pro responds, "I play only when there's at least three fish in the game. Today, I see only one fish (looking the specific player in the eye), and that's not enough for me." Then, he walks over to one of the limit tables and takes a seat there, convinced that everybody will view him as a wise, good, and tough professional … hmm.

• We are playing in a high-stakes game, pot-limit Omaha, high only. With eight players and a total of more than $30,000 on the table, this is a big game even by our standards. A hand comes up with a flop of 7-7-2. There is some action, and the turn brings another – irrelevant – small card. Two players remain to see the river, which is another 7; three sevens are now on the board. Within seconds, both remaining players have all of their chips in the middle, with the first player announcing, "I've got four sevens." His opponent responds, "Yeah, me too." Indeed, they both have the 7. The brush is called over to our table, and the five sevens are lying there staring him in the face. He nonchalantly shakes his head, mumbles, "Accidents do happen," and goes back to what he was doing.

A few days later, we are in the same game when I notice that the deck seems to be a bit thicker than usual, so I ask the dealer for a count. This time, the deck contains 54 cards! Once again, the same brush is called over. He simply takes the old deck off the table and hands a new one to the dealer, not even trying to apologize for this ongoing negligence. In the meantime, some players are stuck thousands of dollars and others have won a ton, possibly because of the extra cards in the deck … hmm.

• We are sitting in a big ninehanded pot-limit Omaha game when one of the regular players walks over to the table. Usually, this player is always present when the game starts, but circumstances have caused him to be a little late this time – which is totally out of character for him. Because the rulebook says "nine players only," this player cannot join the game, even though there's actually not any real reason why the game should not be played 10-handed. After all, the table is big enough, and there are enough cards in the deck. It needs to be said that even though this player always behaves in a very proper manner, he is not popular with all of the other players. Some players view him as a nit, some as a dangerous, tight but highly aggressive player, and others as a professional they fear simply because he knows what he's doing – and therefore is likely to take their money. The nit says he is going to the bathroom, and then to the cashier to change some money. He adds that he will be gone for no more than 10 minutes, meaning that if a seat becomes available, he will back in time to take it.

Now, while he's gone, a very live player enters the poker pit, and he has arrived to play in this big game, too. Within seconds, some of the players have added a 10th chair to the table, even though, as stated, this is usually not allowed. As expected, the new player creates lots of extra action: The average pot is now three or four times the size it was before, and players are cheering and shouting because of the excessive action. The nit notices this when he returns from his bathroom visit, and asks the brush why his seat was not reserved. In fact, he is not just angry that the game is suddenly 10-handed – which was not possible before when he entered – but that another player is now occupying the seat that was supposed to be his. After all, he was first on the list, right? The brush replies that he had not seen the new player come in, and acknowledges that things had not gone exactly the way they should have, but that since the new player had completed a couple of hands already, he could not be forced to leave. He now simply had the right to this seat.

About 30 minutes later, the live one quits the game, having lost a few grand, to go try his luck on the roulette or craps table. Immediately, the 10th seat is removed from the table by two of the players so that, once again, the nit cannot enter the game. Play resumes ninehanded with the nit still being forced to wait, and the brush doing nothing to help him. And according to the seat-removing players, it was nothing personal, and the nit should not feel offended: They simply had not noticed the game was ninehanded already when the live one walked into the room, and now they have simply made up for the initial mistake they made. Why do I know all of this? I was the nit … hmm.

While the game of poker has been great to me, and I still love it as much as when I first started, it would not be right to close my eyes to the bad things that also are part of it. I hope you enjoyed these stories I shared with you; believe me, they are all very true! I also hope that perhaps you have learned a few things along the way – like what you should not do, think, or say. In the next couple of columns, I'll be back to poker strategy again. Until then, I hope you catch lots of aces – and win with them.