A Knickknack, by Any Other Name

As a newcomer to poker, I tend to spend a lot of time watching the table and the players. I am supposed to watch people's play, but I find it much more entertaining to watch other people play. I am absolutely amazed at what "mature" adults play with at the table.

My first encounter with a knickknack was not bad at all. It was at The Orleans, and a man to my left pulled out a very attractive rock that a now-deceased player had given him. The player next to me had lost his rock and the very nice old-timer had given him this rock to replace the missing one. It goes with him everyplace he plays.

My second encounter was not so good. A man sat down at our table after his table had broken, and he appeared to be normal enough. He then proceeded to pull out a pocketful of charms: a pyramid, a unicorn, a soldier, a car, and three or four other things. It appeared that he had mugged a Monopoly game and, instead of making off with the money, had taken all the trinkets. He had so many that he actually went into his neighbor's space. This was awkward, because the neighbor smoked and drank and didn't have enough room himself, so he in turn encroached upon his neighbor – and so on and so on all the way around the table. No one was very pleased with this guy and his toys.

Next came the World Series. I realized that the bigger the game, the bigger and uglier the trinkets. One guy had a boulder – not a rock, but a boulder the size of a fist. Very attractive. Then there was the spinner with a huge fake stone. Anyone who knows me knows that I believe the only jewels worth having are the real ones, and this one wasn't. One guy brought out his medicine cabinet. He had aspirin, cough drops, nose drops, gum, and soda pop. He also had a sweater and a jacket. Luckily, he left his good luck pillow at home.

By far the most interesting gadget I have seen or heard was the wind-up mouse. It was larger than a keyboard mouse, was a mouse-gray color and had big green eyes, and emitted a high-pitched whine and words that only a dog could translate. Its owner wound it up and sent it across the table whenever she thought she needed the luck. Kevin, the cute guy sitting to my right, suggested that the table get a wind-up cat to eat her wind-up mouse. Taking up a collection would have been a snap.

Obviously, people are superstitious. I can understand that, as I grew up with a mother who was so superstitious that she often wasn't playing with a full deck. Every morning before school, I had to play a round of 12 different games of solitaire with her before I could leave. How do you explain to the principal that you were late because you had to play games with your mother. As the saying goes, "Different strokes for different folks.'

Knickknacks are fine, but please have only those that stay in front of you, and that don't squeak, light up, run around the table, or attack people. If I wanted that, I would have had another child.