The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

In my last two columns I discussed the luck factor and the underlying mathematical principle that guides all poker decisions, pot odds. You know what the good hands are at any given point in a game, and you also know that sometimes you get lucky and sometimes you get unlucky. So, what else is there to know? You have to consider one more dimension of playing poker, and that's observing and understanding the opposition.

For starters, I like to categorize my opponents into three broad classifications called the good, the bad, and the ugly. The good player will generally play a tight and predictable game. I'll give the good player respect for having good hands when he's in there betting and raising. The bad player will generally play a very loose and predictable game. The bad player won't get respect from me for calling too many bets. I'll play a pretty straightforward game of poker against both the good and the bad players. The ugly opponent is an expert tricky player, usually a professional poker player who knows when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. I recommend playing cautiously against the ugly player, because when you mix it up with this expert, it can get ugly and expensive.

The variety of player classifications out there is mind-boggling. I like the good, the bad, and the ugly, but here are all the ones I can think of off the top of my head that I've come across in my travels: tight, loose, expert, passive, aggressive, on tilt, tight-passive, tight-aggressive, loose-passive, loose-aggressive, rock, maniac, calling station, actor, loser, ATM, joker, smoker, toker, farmer, hunter, desperado, bully, fox, shark, snake, jackal, elephant, mouse, eagle, whale, fish, fish bait, and, of course, lions and tigers and bears. Oh, my! It sounds like somebody opened a zoo in the middle of the cardroom. Poker is such a colorful game to play!

OK, you've developed a theory on how each of your opponents plays and have filed them in your favorite classification. You're done with observing the opposition, and now you can focus on playing the correct hands, right? Wrong. Sometimes a player will transform before your very eyes among the different states of good, bad, and ugly. It could be due to a comment from a friend, a fight with another player, a good meal, a much needed smoking break, a bathroom break, a bad beat, a good beat, a visit with a spouse or friend, a sports wager win, and the list goes on and on. Some things make players play better and some events make them play worse. It's up to you to constantly observe the ebbs and flows of people's moods and playing styles. Of course, at the same time you're filing and refiling the good, the bad, and the ugly, you're also keeping records of all their tells. It doesn't matter what type of player you're up against, everybody has tells that will let you know how they feel about a bluff, a flop, a bet, a draw, and so on. You could probably get a Ph.D. in psychology without even leaving the poker room!

A few weeks before I won the World Series of Poker, I had been playing a lot of my favorite game of $15-$30 eight-or-better stud in Atlantic City; $15-$30 was the highest limit I played. For a change of venue, I went up to Connecticut to play the same game. Unfortunately when I got there, the stakes were $40-$80. After playing other lower-stakes games with some success, I decided to take a peek at this eight-or-better stud game. There was one seat open, with some of the players encouraging me to take it. My fear of playing at this limit was overcome by my love of the game, so I took the plunge into the shark tank. This was an ugly table all around. I would go so far as to say that it was a meat grinder, and the regulars started drooling over the fresh meat before my butt even hit the seat. My trembling hands counting out my buy-in was like dripping blood in this shark tank. I quickly got classified by the other players as a bad player. On my very first hand, I got very lucky and was dealt A-A-2, which developed into an ideal eight-or-better stud hand and I scooped the whole pot. This just whetted the appetites of the sharks, figuring I'd probably play every hand after winning the first hand I was dealt. The fear and pressure of playing at this limit kept me playing good, and after I scooped two more pots, I got ugly and started stealing pots! After three hours of play, I quit the game with my hands still trembling from the thrill of winning the most money I had ever won in my life! Now, that's what I call beautiful!

Editor's note: Robert was the 2002 World Series of Poker champion and is the instructor on the "Wiseguys on Texas Hold'em" videos, starring some famous actors from the Sopranos. The videos are very informative, as well as entertaining, and are available at wiseguyson.com.