Should You Teach Your Kids to Play Poker?

Mr. Hilton wasn't exactly the zaniest teacher I ever had, so when he broke out a deck of cards in my seventh-grade algebra class, I couldn't contain my shock. It was time to teach probability, and rather than stick to his tried-and-true method of lecturing followed by countless worksheets, he pretended like he was in the box at the old Dunes in Las Vegas and started shuffling. And while I can't tell you exactly what I learned that day in class, I do remember that I was more engaged in that class than I was in three years of junior high school.

When I was recently holiday shopping for my godchildren, ages 9 and 6, I was overwhelmed by the number of poker products in the stores. Sure, you expect to see poker chips in a billiards store or even a sporting goods store, but I was seeing them in places like Duane Reade drugstores, Crate & Barrel, and Barnes & Noble. A few months earlier, it seemed like I got a call every day from a Simon & Schuster sales representative reporting on all the retailers that were ordering Phil Gordon's book, Poker: The Real Deal (I'm Gordon's literary agent). Urban Outfitters, Spencer's Gifts, Wal-Mart, Target, Restoration Hardware, and Nordstrom all wanted to stock a poker book!

So, if poker is so mainstream, and such an important part of my education and my livelihood, why would I have any doubts about teaching my godkids how to play? Perhaps I had read too much about famous gamblers. Nick the Greek, Titanic Thompson, and Stuey Ungar were three of the world's greatest gamblers who had much in common. They all won countless fortunes – and they all died broke.

But the more I think about it, the negative thoughts on gambling came long before I turned 10. My dad would often deal blackjack hands to me for play money, and he couldn't resist dropping "Evils of Gambling" every time he dealt me a stiff or made a tough 21. "You can't beat the house" was a term I heard over and over again throughout my life, and one that has kept me away from the pit my entire life (thanks, Dad). Then, when I discovered poker, my dad was quick to remind me that legendary author John Scarne wrote that it's all but impossible to win at poker with a raked pot.

But my dad wasn't the parent who was anti-gambling. My mom – who was far from overbearing – talked a lot about the "element." Her concern wasn't about my losing; it was about the people I'd be hanging out with. Sure enough, the first time I was offered drugs, the first time I was asked to loan money, and the first time I made a sports bet, I was around poker players. And not coincidentally, the peak of my poker career corresponded with the peak of my waistline, and the nadir of my jump shot and REM cycle.

With those thoughts in my mind as I perused the aisles of Toys 'R' Us, I couldn't help but think of all the reasons not to expose my godkids to poker. Marathon sessions, bad beats, financial stress, and shady characters are all conduits to addiction and a dangerous lifestyle. Yet, as I continued to shop for an engaging gift, my thoughts turned back to Mr. Hilton, and I remembered that the most obvious reason to teach poker is to improve math skills. It also might be the least important.

To be a great poker player, you must walk in another person's shoes. Repeat. You must walk in another person's shoes. You can save four years trying to get a communications degree or a lifetime in couples therapy if you can understand and apply that concept. Call it whatever you want – putting someone on a hand, trying to make a read, using deductive reasoning – but the essence of poker is trying to figure out what your opponent is holding. To do so, you also have to think about how your opponent is thinking, feeling, and acting; simply put, you have to walk in that person's shoes. This same principle is also the essence of good communication, and applying it to everything you do will improve your life immeasurably.

You must master the ability to interpret verbal and nonverbal communication. Picking up a "tell" in poker has improved my relationship with my girlfriend. You must apply logic and linear thinking. Thinking through four "streets" of betting has made me a better negotiator. You must be able to contain your emotion and perform at a high level immediately after adversity. Suffering hundreds of bad beats has enabled me to deal with rejection and use it as a motivator. The examples go on and on, but that one simple concept, walking in another person's shoes, is so critical – and arguably best taught from the game of poker – that it makes learning poker worth all potential pitfalls.

So, yes, I will teach my godkids to play poker, and if they take to it, I will lead them to the resources that will make them winning players. And, yes, just as my parents did, I will warn them of the potential pitfalls. But whether they're arguing with each other, preparing for a test, getting ready for their first date, or going on a job interview, I will remind them to walk in another person's shoes. Then, I'll tell them to shuffle up and deal!

Greg Dinkin is the co-founder of Venture Literary, www.ventureliterary.com, and the author of three books, including The Poker MBA, www.thepokermba.com. He is available for keynote speeches and can be contacted through his website.