Questions From Russia

I’ve written a blog that I can’t read. Two of my books, Your Worst Poker Enemy and Your Best Poker Friend, were translated into Russian. Some readers asked questions at the Russian publisher’s website. Not surprisingly, their questions are similar to ones I get from American readers.

Question: I was in an online tournament and got heads up with equal stacks (about 30,000 each). The blinds were 5,000-10,000. My opponent is a nice guy from my city, and we had met at a poker forum.

Suddenly, he lost his connection. I decided to be a good sport and wait for him, even though I could have ended the tournament and won the first prize of €220 (about $300).

He came back in five minutes, and it took him just a few hands to beat me! Second prize was €110 (about $150).

Our forum buddies complimented me. I was really flattered, but I still feel bad about losing €110. I wish I had finished the tournament immediately and gotten the first prize. How can I get away from my doubts?

Answer: You probably can’t get away from them, because you had conflicting motives. You wanted to (1) feel good about your sportsmanship, and (2) to win the first prize.

Satisfying (1) reduced by about half your chances of satisfying (2). It cost you €110, but only about €55 in expected value (EV). With 5,000-10,000 blinds and 30,000 stacks, you each had about a 50 percent chance of winning.

So, the question is: Was the satisfaction you gained from being a good sport worth €55 of EV? If it was, you made a rational decision. If not, you made an irrational one. Given the way that you feel now, you seem to have answered that question: It was not worth it.

However, if you had won “unfairly,” you probably would feel guilty. That’s the problem with conflicting motives: Whatever you do to satisfy one motive often frustrates others.

I’m applying a principle that David Sklansky explained in our new book DUCY? (It stands for “Do You See Why?”) In poker (and other economic decisions), “rational” is usually defined as trying to maximize profits. Our book usually emphasizes that type of rationality, but it contains a chapter titled “Irrationality May Be Okay If Recognized.”

We don’t tell people what goals they should have, but do urge them to use rational methods for achieving them. Most importantly, analyze your motives and plans before making decisions. For example, before deciding to wait, you should have asked yourself, “Is feeling like and being seen as a good sport worth €55 to me?”

Here’s how David put it: “Even though I am generally opposed to being irrational, I don’t always fight my irrational desires, and neither should you. I ask only that you analyze situations well enough that you know what the more rational decision is. Then you should feel free to choose the more irrational alternative if you believe that feelings you get from it are worth it.

“Of course, you must understand and accept the consequences of doing so … Make sure that acting irrationally isn’t costing you more than you can afford, either financially, socially, or psychologically.” (Page 124)

When I discussed this reader’s question with David, he went a bit further: “If he places a correct value on his feelings and chooses the alternative that best satisfies all his motives, he is, of course, being rational.”

Q: I experience several emotional conditions when I enter a tournament. When I am attentive, unemotional, and rational, I play very well and often win. But sometimes I am nervous, get short-tempered, and act emotionally. Of course, I play awfully.

How can I create the right state of mind before the tournament?

If I have the wrong mindset, how do I control myself?

A: You should prepare yourself psychologically before the tournament begins. Some preparation steps are obvious, but many people won’t take them. For example, get a good night’s sleep, eat well, and get rid of distractions, such as job or family problems. You also can use relaxation techniques, such as yoga and breathing exercises. If you’re tired, hungry, angry, distracted, or worried, you can’t play your A-game.

If you can’t create the right mindset, if you expect to play terribly, there is only one thing to do: Don’t play!

Countless players have gone broke because they ignored signals that they wouldn’t play well. It’s often a bigger problem in cash games than in non-rebuy tournaments. In those tournaments, your maximum loss is obvious. In a cash game, you can keep buying chips until you lose your entire bankroll.

You’re actually ahead of many people. They don’t recognize their emotions or adjust to them. I have told friends, “Go home. You’re on tilt.” Their usual answer (which is generally expressed more tactfully) is, “Mind your own business. I’m fine.” They don’t want to admit that they have lost control of themselves.

Q (from the same person): You said, “Don’t play!” But I really want to play. How should I cope with my desire to play? The emotions are secondary here.

A: If the money involved doesn’t matter to you, and the pleasure you get from playing is greater than the financial and psychological cost of playing badly, play without feeling remorse or guilt.

But you wouldn’t have written to me if you didn’t care about those costs. You lose money and feel bad because you played poorly. So, I doubt that the emotions are “secondary.” You should realize that you have only three choices:

1. Play when you’re not psychologically ready, which will cost you money and make you feel bad.

2. Avoid playing when you are off balance, which means that you sometimes will forego the pleasure of playing, but won’t experience the pain of playing badly and losing money.

3. Learn how to control your emotions. There are dozens of methods, and their effectiveness is highly personal. What works for me may not work for you. Since I can’t summarize all of the control techniques, read some books or articles, and then experiment to learn what works best for you.

Most importantly, answer this question: What are my motives? To make money? Socialize? Relax? Face competitive challenges? What else? My book The Psychology of Poker has a chapter titled, “Why Do You Play Poker?” Readers have said that it helped them to understand their own motives.

There is a common theme to all of these questions: Base your decisions on all of your motives, not on just the profit-maximizing one. So, take a hard look at yourself. If you don’t know why you’re playing, you can’t make good decisions about how you should play.

Dr. Schoonmaker, [email protected], is the author of four poker books: The Psychology of Poker, Your Worst Poker Enemy, Your Best Poker Friend, and Poker Winners Are Different.